“Children have more need of models of critical,” says the author Carolyn Coats. No matter the age of your child, you’re still the father and he remains the son. When they interact, the relationship of father and son is deployed throughout life reemerges instantly. When your relationship with your adult child is damaged, the weight of your history can sabotage your attempts to reconcile and move forward . To repair this relationship, you must take the initiative and demonstrate through your actions that love remains the glue that binds you to your family, and rationality is the vehicle that drives you to forward . You must show your child how to improve things.

 your adult child

Instructions

Look within to identify your own, positive and negative feelings about your son. If you are resentful of their past behavior, find out what you should do to protect yourself from further harm. If the problem behavior that has caused pain in the past persists in this, find out how to set limits to prevent a repeat pattern. For example, if your son asks for money continually and never returned or is openly disrespectful, you must identify strategies to stop this behavior and will not cause further damage to the relationship.

Check the emotions you experience during interactions with your child. When an interaction goes wrong, do further analysis. When you do, do not centers simply that you feel hurt and anger: looks so dynamic as objective as possible. It examines who said what and how the sequence of statements, reactions and counter-reactions escalated into a counterproductive interaction.

Explore alternative ways of responding to your child that can lead you to better results. Responds in ways that express empathy or focusing on reconciliation and solving problems instead of saying things that most likely trigger an angry reaction. For example, if your child says something disrespectful or hurtful, instead of angry and respond, try expressing your feelings of grief or sadness about the effect of tort your child in the relationship. You can say “It hurts when you insult me ​​and does not improve things” or “I’m sorry you feel that way and I want to find out what each can do to make things better.”

Listen to your child. Take the difficult task of removing your defenses and see your relationship through the eyes of your child. Expresses and confirms that you understand how you feel and why this is so. Use tools of empathy, validation, and active listening as repeat or reflect what he says. The goal here is to increase your understanding and allow your child to see and feel that you understand their perspective.

Looking for help to get through these difficult issues. Talk to a trusted friend, family member or counselor, to reach an objective, outside perspective forms of forgetting past wounds and deal effectively with current issues.

Forgive your child for all his mistakes as humans. Deletes the concept of fault of your thinking. Do not be afraid to say “Sorry”. Recognize your human limits, your weaknesses and contributions to past problems. Admitting mistakes is not admitting guilt for all the problems. Say “I’m sorry I hurt you” or “I feel the way things ended.” Recognizes that both try to be people trying to lead a happy and productive life, but making many mistakes along the way. Cultivate your love and care for one another, because it is a powerful tool in the effort to fix what is bad for the relationship.